BBW but beautiful?

BBW... BIG yes...but am I Beautiful?

What is beauty? Beauty can be the the reds pinks and blues of a sunset. Beauty can be the glow of a pregnant woman. Beauty can be the shine in ones eyes gazing with love on another. I have spent a couple weeks just randomly telling people that they are "beautiful" or "gorgeous" or "pretty", and what have I found? Many women are learning to say "I"m BBW" but they don't really want to believe it!

I'm sure all of us at one point have gazed upon something and said, "that is so beautiful!". Remember that feeling? Awe? Feeling exceptionally lucky to have the opportunity to view something to.. beautiful? Is it possibly that someone could actually find a big, fat, obese woman beautiful? CLUE-X-4... YES! Cuz beauty really does shine through... even through fat cells.. but sometimes it's just so hard to believe isn't it?

I have found over the past few weeks that calling a larger woman "pretty" is easily acceptable. A little fluster... a blush.. a smile... but a thank you none the less. Call the same woman "Beautiful" and you begin to see the disbelief in her eyes. Like.. "sure.. tell me another lie!". Let alone tell her that she's "KNOCK DEAD GORGEOUS!" She might very well turn away from you and never believe another word you ever say. Why is this??

I have seen so many gorgeous beautiful BIG women, and I do mean it! I have begun to understand why my husband gets so frustrated and insulted when I turn away his comments with a shrug and disbelief. While he's saying "pretty" I am hearing the same phrase I"ve heard for years.. "you're so pretty.. if only you'd loose some weight!". He calls me beautiful and I hear my ex-husband telling me "you're so ugly and fat... UGLY!" A couple days ago someone said "you're gorgeous" and I could think of was .."sure...you haven't seen me naked yet!". Maybe we are all hearing our own voices instead of the ones talking to us??

So how do we remedy this problem? Hey.. I'm just pointing out the problem, I don't have the solution!! <g> Well actually I do have some ways around that inner voice. For starters..... the person making the comments needs to remember to say it sincerely, and in my case, not directly. "Look at that sunset! it's gorgeous!! And you know what? It reminds me of your beautiful rosy cheeks!" that is a line my own husband has used. How can I argue it? I am looking at the same beautiful sunset.. and him linking it to my cheeks... well at that moment my cheeks were probably the same pink! What am I getting at? Find a way to reference your usage of the word "beautiful" or "gorgeous" to something.... that way the receiver doesn't have to rely only on their definition of the word. I.E.. my first response of a "gorgeous" woman is a tall, leggy red head... thin and lanky.. typical American image. So if he says I"m gorgeous right away I compare myself to that definition.. NOPE.. no MATCH! But if he changes my own frame of reference.... from my image to his own... then I can accept and believe it easier!

So if there is a BBW in your life.. or if you are a BBW... try changing your way of viewing beauty. Realize that yes.... you can be BIG and BEAUTIFUL!