Pleasure Not Panic
The Art of Welcoming Pain
by Joseph W. Bean


Introduction

Pain is mysterious stuff, and everyone reacts to it. If five people get more or less the same thump on the heel from the
same over-wound automatic door closer, one will glance behind himself, and go on to his next appointment: another will wince,
shrug, and limp a bit; another will need pain relief medication; another will take the day off from the office; and another will sue
for millions (or threaten to do so), limping and complaining and even actually aching for days. If the same five people see
someone else in pain, their reactions might range from smothering sympathy to the genuine belief that the only way to get
over the pain is to ignore it, and get on with what you were doing.

What is intolerable pain to one person is cozy welcome midnight reminder of a hard-played afternoon football game to
another. And yet, presented with the idea that there are people who seek pain, who get high on pain, and who get hard or wet
from pain, even the look-a’-my-bruises football player will usually react with disgust. In fact, if athletes could think of SM as
sports they'd always know who was winning. If executives who are willing to stare at columns of tiny numerals till their heads
are about to burst and their eyes are watering could think of SM as business, they'd understand the acceptance of pain, but
they'd always know who was profiting from whom.

SM, though, is neither a sport nor a business (not as such, not usually), so it mystifies and disgusts. Not that they're more
likely to understand, but it might be better to take the question of pain to a gardener rather than to athletes and businessmen.
He or she would understand the idea, if not the actuality quickly enough: Pain is the weed-word of sensation. Last years
carnations are unwanted when they push up among this years tidy rows of pansies. They are weeds. They are plants not
welcome in this place at this time. Just so, pain can be seen as a sensation that is not welcome in a particular time, coming
in the way it does. But just as the carnations are still flowers, pain is still a sensation, and, just as a gardener might choose to
accommodate or move the pesky carnations, a masochist is able to process and use sensations that others would dismiss as
pain.

So, the eternal question arises, the one that has to be asked at just about every SM demonstration-lecture: If a masochist
gets hit by a car, does he or she enjoy it? No. Its simple as that. No, a masochist does not enjoy being injured accidentally.
His experience with pain may make him better able than most people to understand how badly injured he is, to know what
kind of care he is likely to need, and even to bear the pain. None of which should suggest that an SM bottom wants, seeks, or
puts up with accidental injury any more than anyone else. That sort of sensory experience is a weed. It is pain.

SM bottoms learn very quickly what kinds of stimulation and sensation they do and donut want. They learn almost as
quickly how to encourage Tops to give them stimulation they want and to prevent Tops from providing sensations they want to
avoid. (The gray areas between what a person wants and what the same person wants to avoid are made up of the sorts of
stimulation that are negotiable, more often than not.) What bottoms learn less quickly is how to process the intense sensation
they get in SM scenes—0kay, the pain. The processing is necessary if they are going to bear sensation/stimulation for a
longer time, which means getting more pleasure that makes pain-seeking attractive. Of course. Being able to remain gladly
functional as a bottom in a longer (but not necessarily heavier) scene also leads to a bottom having a better chance of
attracting better Tops.

Processing pain, at least to a certain extent, is natural. If it were not, even a hangnail could bring the toughest bruiser to his
knees (come on guys, you wouldn't want that for yourself so don't go wishing it on the big boys). For some people—boys more
than girls—an additional degree of pain processing is taught from a very early age, but not always in the healthiest way. Then
there are the lucky few who, once they become involved in SM, intentionally continue their education in pain processing by
noticing what works, and developing that; noticing what others do, and trying that; and by asking questions or taking classes
to increase their pain-handling capabilities.

How a person goes about processing intense sensation into a tide of pleasure depends on what kind of person he is to
begin with. Some people respond to pain with nothing short of "Oh, boy!" These are true masochists, processing pain is not an
issue, what they need is to be told how to get more of the specific type of pain they want. Others react with "Oh, yeah." These
people are going to fight for the Top position (even if it is an obvious foregone conclusion who will win the fight, and it isn't
always). If they lose (was there ever any doubt?), these guys are going to "take it like men" (whether they are male or female),
which is very rudimentary and fairly ineffective way of processing pain. In fact, a lot of bottoms learn to give the impression that
they are toughing it out like good little soldiers when, in actuality they have learned and are using much more sophisticated
pain processing methods.

Another initial reaction to pain in the playroom is "Oh, no!" This comes from people who, supposing they knew what they
were getting into, need help. They need to learn by heart the path from whack to heaven, and it will be hard if they can't shed
their oh-no attitude. And finally, there are people who react to the prospect of pain with nothing heartier than "Oh, well."
Chances are they will never be bothered to learn how to handle, use, and enjoy the ministrations of a good Top. Until they stop
soaking up the hot SM energy and go back to the excitement of word-search puzzles, they will be yawning while one Top after
another wears himself out at the other end of a whip or whatever.


Techniques

Strangely, the ways people process pain are often considered more personal than the most graphic details of their sex
lives. Maybe the highly-guarded privacy gathers around pain handling because processing pain seems to imply that the bottom
"needs help’ which he ought to be glad to manage without. Or, maybe the problem is simply that, because we don’t often
speak of it, we haven’t developed a comfortable language in which to tell each other about our pain-processing successes and
failures, methods and magic. Whatever the reason, most people prefer not to talk about the pain processing techniques they
use to use or the unconscious processes they observe in themselves. Nonetheless, it is not difficult to describe a few ways to
juggle pain while spinning into pleasure.


Breath

With TV motherhood in graphic and perennial bloom, you don’t need ever to have known a pregnant woman to know that
they are told to "breathe, breathe, breathe" in order to cope with the pains of labor and giving birth. Why they should have to be
told is another question since every little kid in the world seems to instinctive understand that huffing, puffing, and sucking
deep breaths changes the way a smashed fingertip feels. Not surprisingly, breath is the most common vehicle for pain control
in the SM play, too.

Generally, the ides is to breathe out the pain, and breath in a relaxed receptivity to the scene in progress. There is no point
in asking whether this, or any pain processing method for that matter, is more imagination or medicine, visualization or
self-delusion. The point is that it works. Engaging the palpable sense of bodily presence initiated by the introduction of the
painful stimulation, the process is simple: locate the breath within the body as a gatherer of the pain, deliver it to the lungs,
and release pain and spent air together.

If for no other reason, this method is bound to be effective with early stages and low levels of pain just because it stands as
a reminder to breathe, and to breathe deeply. When we breathe deeply, we are doing a more effective job of heat exchanging
between the surrounding environment and the interior or our bodies, and mild trauma is often greeted with slightly elevated
body temperature. Not that anything is explained away by that fact, bit it may help in the skeptic engage his imagination and
put breath to work in SM.


Fantasy

Some people find that pain is managed when they submerge themselves in the right fantasy role. A person being flogged,
for example, casts himself in the role of the Roman galley slave for whom the pain of flogging (historically be damned) is an
everyday experience. Since it is nothing out of the ordinary, it is nothing all that disquieting. In the end, it is tolerated. Whether
this path to bearing pain closes some of the doors to pleasure is very debatable. Some bottoms claim that they don’t notice
when the role ceases to be used, or necessary. For them, then, role playing (even if no one else knows they are doing it)
serves a purpose, very likely either keeping them occupied until the body begins to handle the pain in its own way, or acting
as a cover for unconscious pain processing methods they may not appreciate so much.


Heat, Light, and Color

Heat is naturally generated in the body most methods of stimulation. Whether it is slapped with a paddle, scoured with an
abrasive toy, pinched, stretched, or punctured, the body sends its investigative reporters (armies of blood cells) to the sight of
the trauma, and blood is the heat-carrier. So, it is not much of a leap to identify pain with heat. Just about everybody can do it,
and that is the beginning of a rather simple method of pain processing.

To experience heat as light is also a relatively easy step. Even speaking scientifically the distinction between what we call
light is a matter of perception as much as anything. Similarly, to assign a color designation to any experience of heat or light
is well within the realm of normal imaginative capabilities. So, pain processing methods that work with heat can also be
performed with light and color.

There are three distinct options available here, and combinations of two or three of them are not uncommon either. First,
heat (which will stand for color and light as well at the moment) can be generalized. Just as a towel is less "wet" when the
water in it is spread by the capillary action over a large area of it’s fibers, pain is less intense when it is experienced over a
larger area of the body. Some people find it very easy to recognize the pain of a single blow in a specific area, then to release
that pain so it can spread over a larger area, perhaps even being driven over larger areas with each successive blow. A good
Top, recognizing that a bottom is having trouble dealing with the immediate pain will often stroke the reddened skin outward
from the center, not to soothe per se so much as to encourage the generalizing of the pain over a larger area. For this
technique to work, the bottom needs nothing more intention that it should, and a modicum of imagination.

Next, the heat (light, color) can be drawn to the surface. This operation may require more imagination, and it seems to
have less science in it than most, but it works for some people. Here in the experience of pain is heat, for example, is pressed
outward from within the body, leaving the heat on the surface. Superficial pain is, almost by definition, tolerable. That is the
primary force behind the effectiveness of this method, and a certain amount of its appeal comes from the fact that we have
seen superficial injuries heal all our lives, but we retain (and should!) a fear of internal injury. In fact, if a pain is only skin deep,
how could anyone possible find it intolerable, especially if managing that pain means that the scene goes on (with a Top who
happens to be hot enough to have gotten the scene going in the first place).

Heat, light, and—as a kind of light—color, can also be radiated. In fact, they actually are radiated from the body in their
various ways all the time. Where generalizing spread the transformed pain around the body, and superficializing brought it out
like a shell encasing the body, radiating expels the pain. There is, of course, still higher degree of imaginative capacity called
for here, but it is not beyond the sort of imagination required for most meditations. Whether it is sensed as heat, light, or a
defined color, the pain can be radiated outward from the source—however superficial or deep within the body. This not only
reduces the experience of pain as pain, but it tends to encourage the experience of joy in the leathersex scene, and to
connect leathersex with the most effortless kind of letting go, which multiplies the opportunities for SM joy.


Storage

A lot of people, especially novices, have trouble identifying pain with anything as welcome as heat, light, or color, they can’t
deal with fantasy roles, or let go enough to use them; and they find their breath more often pushing them toward weed-pain
than lifting them away from it. And yet, they are getting something they "know" they want. They wonder if they really want it,
but keep coming back for more or less the same thing. Sadly, they also blame their Tops for not teaching them how to cope,
or for not "doing it so it feels good."

For these people, one method of pain processing that I almost always accessible, is this: store the energy of the pain in or
near the site where it is being originated, let it build up without resisting it. Give your attention of full awareness of the
sensation and of the fact that it is exactly what you bargained for, holding on to it as long as possible. Then, having warned
your Top of this moment before the scene began, you can signal (perhaps with a safeword) that it is time to release the stored
energy. Release it by shuddering if that comes naturally, shaking if you need to, screaming, squealing, wriggling, or whatever
it takes, but remain aware that this is not meant to be a mad scene, just a complete release of stored energy.

Minor variations on this technique are obvious. Bottoms who scream and squeal, wriggle, and shudder all through a scene
without any encouragement are evidently performing energy releases all the time. This may be distressing for the Top. It may
even be distracting for other players in the room. It may even be destructive for the entire leathersex atmosphere. Or not. It
depends on the nature of the release activity, the intensity of it, and the attitude of the Top and others present. But the bad
thing is that it is probably stealing all the more intense experiences from the bottom. Releasing your pain-delivered energy,
stroke by stroke as it is received, is like spending your money dollar by dollar as it is earned: You never get to use it to buy
anything big enough to have been wished for.


The Working Bottom

There are endless possible combination of these pain processing techniques, and countless other methods as well, but the
idea is to process the sensation intentionally, engaging your attention. When you do that, you collect a kind of sensual
dividend on the processed energy. The very act of attending to(or even attempting) the processing of sensation has soothing
effects on the mind, and quiets fearful voices in the head. It encourages good habits of breathing and centered presence,
drawing you into the scene, opening you to its possibilities rather than letting you stew on its likely side effects.


Perhaps the most significant aspect of pain processing, apart from its involvement in the spiritual aspect of leathersex, is
that it gives the bottom the freedom to become a fully contributing partner in the scene. A person whose only concern is
bearing the pain, or thinking of when and how to stop it, is not cooperating. He or she is just wearing down a Top. The same
bottoms in the same scenes, when they’re engaged in handling the sensations for themselves, get a clearer picture of what is
being done to and for them. They have more consciousness free to communicate with the Top, instead of relying on the Top to
read the bottom’s mind (although good Tops do seem to be able to do this). A "working" bottom—one who is actively putting
the Top’s "work" to joyful use—has liberty where he or she imagined limits, permitting a longer, more intense, and more
satisfying scene for both (all?) parties.





The material in this article was originally developed for a class taught by the author at QSM in San Francisco. It was later
reworked for this article, and will appear slightly different from the author’s book on leathersex practices and techniques which
will be published this year by Haworth Press.
Joseph W. Bean was Managing Editor for The Sandmutopia Guardian from 1989 though 1992. He is currently editor of
Masthead and March and contributing writer for Drummer, having stepped down as editor of Drummer in December, 1992.


This article was taken from Issue Eleven of the Sandmutopia Guardian. In keeping with the copyright information in the
magazine, the following information is provided:
Sandmutopia Guardian subscription information as of that issue:
The Sandmutopia Guardian is published four times a year by Desmodus, Inc., 24 Shotwell St., San Francisco, CA 94103.
Four issue subscription: $24 by First Class Mail within the U.S. and Canada, $35 elsewhere. Address all inquiries regarding
subscriptions, advertising orders, or questions, back issues, other product orders, and all editorial concerns to: PO Box
410390, San Francisco, CA 94141-0390.

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SM vs ABUSE POLICY STATEMENT

The following document was created from a policy workshop that took place at Leather Leadership Conference on Sunday, April 19th, 1997, with additional feedback from all the participants who attended LLC. Organizations are encouraged to sign on to and/or distribute this document:

The Difference between S/M and Abuse

A group of leaders and activists who attended the Leather Leadership Conference II in NYC on April 17-19, 1998, compiled the following set of ideals based on established community principles that SM is fundamentally different from abuse. We hope the community agrees to the following Standards & Guidelines that are intended to help the law enforcement and social services communities understand the difference between abusive relationships and S/M, which consists of diverse sexual practices that bring satisfaction and gratification to the participants. While we respect the diversity of our subculture, we believe that the autonomy and humanity of each individual must be respected and maintained.

S/M is the generally accepted term for a complex group of behaviors that involves the consensual giving and receiving of intense erotic sensation and/or intense mental discipline, and it usually involves an exchange of power between the partners. S/M is not about unresolved childhood issues of power, shame, or the eroticization of violence.

If an individual is in an abusive relationship, then it is likely that physical or sexual activities will also be abusive. It is essential that those involved in diverse sexual relationships are not isolated from their family or friends. To ensure self-esteem, individuals must be free to discuss their preferences, practices and feelings with anyone they chose. Individuals must also be able to exercise self-determination when it comes to money, employment and life decisions.


Standards

1. The community recognizes the phrase "Safe Sane Consensual" as the best brief summary of principles guiding our sexual expression.
A. "Safe" is being knowledgeable about the techniques and safety concerns involved in what you are doing. Each participant must be informed about the possible risks, both mental and physical.
B. "Sane" is knowing the difference between fantasy and reality. Knowledgeable consent cannot be given if you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
C. "Consensual" is respecting the limits imposed by each participant. One of the most easily recognized ways to maintain limits is through a "safeword" - which ensures the bottom/submissive can end the activity at any time with a single word or gesture.

2. These Standards & Guidelines only pertain to sexual expression between consenting adults. Children (anyone under 18) cannot give knowledgeable consent, and sexual acts between adults and children are illegal and cannot be condoned by the community.

3. Threats are not safe, sane or consensual. Threats can include actions or warnings that your property will be destroyed, or your children and pets will be hurt, or your partner threatens to kill you or commit suicide if you leave, or you are blackmailed or outed because of your involvement in diverse sexual practices.

4. Isolation and/or being prevented from retaining employment or obtaining higher education is not safe, sane or consensual. Emotions must be respected, including feelings of jealousy or dissatisfaction, and responsibility for what happens must be accepted and shared by each participant.


Guidelines

1. Use a safeword in order to make participants responsible to themselves and others.

2. Use negotiation, which often involves complex, lengthy communication, in order to make participants aware of each other's limits, needs and desires.

3. Do not use scenes to express anger or frustration, or to manipulate or give unwanted punishment to one of the participants.


If you say no to any of the following questions, you may be suffering abuse:

1. Is your consent asked for or given?
2. Are you able to withdraw consent and stop what's happening at any time?
3. Are your needs and limits respected at all times?
4. Do you feel good after a scene?
5. Can you function in everyday life?
6. Can you refuse to do illegal activities?
7. Can you go wherever you want, whenever you want to?
8. Is your relationship built on honesty, trust and respect?
9. Can you insist on safe sex practices?
10. Are you able to express feelings of guilt or jealousy or unhappiness?
11. Do you feel free to talk to your family and friends whenever you choose?


We hold abusers accountable for emotional and physical violence, and we encourage survivors to seek support. Please contact the following resources - they have been educated about safe, sane and consensual sexual expression and will not be judgmental about your lifestyle:

Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project
Hotline: 212 807-0197
647 Hudson St.
New York, NY 10014

Kink Aware Professionals
The resource for people who are seeking psychotherapeutic, medical, dental, complementary healing, and legal professionals who are informed about the diversity of consensual, adult sexuality.
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Distribution policy:
Comments, ideas and constructive criticism always welcomed. As with all of my postings, any archivist is
welcome to copy and distribute this story appropriately without let or hindrance, provided that the distribution is
free of charge and the entire posting remains intact and unedited.

*Disclaimer of a legal sort*

FLOGGING FAQ

Striking the human body must be considered dangerous. As I am neither a medical nor a legal professional, the
following is offered as my opinion only, not a recommendation for any activity. Nothing can possibly replace
personal experience and learning directly from those who have been there before. There are now workshops and
demonstrations available in larger cities, avail yourself of one. I have no control over the use of this information,
use it at your own risk. And as ever, proceed with caring.


WITH WHAT?-

A 'flogger' shall remain for the moment 'any flexible many-tailed striking tool where the tails are
simple strips of leather or similar substances, designed for use on the human body'. In short, not
bullwhips, braided cat-o-nines, crops, scourges, thudtoys and such, simply floggers. A braided cat is
similar to a flogger in many respects, yet has a distinct 'feel', both these and floggers with knotted ends
are left for another discussion.

As floggers were less available in former days, many people made their own in various styles and
weights. Even if you are not doing so, some basic principles of design might help you select a superior
one from the regrettably large supply of the other sort. I shall not include specific designs, the subject
has been done to death before, and they are readily available elsewhere. As Janet Heartwood has
provided excellent information in her 'Heartwood Catalog', I have used a similar format in my
materials listing below. Although I have not ordered from her and can give no opinion, her wares seem
well received among posters here.

Design notes-
For any given force, the smaller the contact area that force is concentrated in, the greater the potential
for damage. Think of a knife edge as the extreme case. This is why quality flogger tails have rounded
edges and tips; although sharp edges require less work and are less expensive, rounded edges are
preferable.

The wider the tail, the more surface area to be forced through the air, and again, the more lands at
once on the skin. As a general rule for the same material, thin tails 'sting', wide tails 'thud'. Thin,
rounded thong tails sting much more than 5/8 inch wide flat tails, for example.

If all things are equal, the more tails a flogger has, the slower it travels, and the longer the tails are,
the more leverage is gained. Both of the above make a flogger heavier, but the longer tails can make it
disproportionately more difficult to control, therefore many of the 'standard' floggers have tail lengths
between 15 and 22 inches. It is possible to do quite interesting things with a long flogger, such as laying
it down an entire back at once, but this is not recommended for beginners as it can take serious
practise to do well. Very short floggers have special uses for close work, one nipple at a time, that sort
of thing. Floggers with perhaps 15 to 25 tails are average, twice that makes a heavier version of the
same design.

For safety, flogger tails must remain fixed to the end of the handle; this region is where the most stress
occurs in use. A good covering knot will help reduce this strain, and keep the tails together. The handle
must work with your hand, not against it, neither too large nor small for a proper grip, and a knot or
swelling near the end of the flogger serves to prevent slippage. Short handles are better for control,
longer handles provide more leverage. The weight of the handle must feel 'right' with the tails
[something one must feel, not read about. If the sellers will not allow a cautious swing of prospective
purchases, find another shop].

Beyond weight, width and length, the materials matter most. I have personal experience only with the
following, perhaps others may share their knowledge as well. A selection from the below provides a
range of severity and feelings from 'did you start yet?' to 'Omigod!'. Again in general, the softer and
lighter the material, the safer it is [the harder/longer it may be used without risk], and the softer it
feels. As ever, *the RESPONSIBLE TOP TESTS each implement on hirself before it touches a
bottom, and checks for breakage or other safety problems before each use.*

Material List-
An ounce or two of loosely twisted cotton wool in a pillowcase folded lengthwise- this and the next two
have been useful for those with no experience with flogging, yet much interest. Quite safe, I originally
tested mine by repeated strikes to my own face with no effect.

Chamois- a more permanent version of the above, a 3/8 inch tail width 20-tail is a specialized tool for
flogging either a complete novice or one who prefers nearly no sensation. Noise, a very light skin-level
sensation, and nothing else, tested as above. Of course it may also cause hir to look back at you and
ask if that is all you plan on doing....

Fabric- silk and other softer fabrics can be made into floggers. Avoid fraying of edges by sewing the
fabric into closed tubes, ironing each tube flat, then sewing the flat sides together along the long axis.
Similar to chamois, more decorative colors available, and many fabrics are washable.

Deerskin- soft and caressing, a tiny bit of sting, a bit of thud, and little else. Unless one is hitting
exceptionally hard, a deerskin flogger can be used for a very long time without any notable skin
reactions beyond a light flush. My personal favorite for light play or the less experienced.

Light Nylon Cordage [1/8 inch diameter for a start]- Take 15 loops 34 inches long [circumference],
tying them together in a knot at one end. Cut the other end [tail length now perhaps 15 inches], fray the
cut ends and attach to a handle. Two sensations, a very light one from brushing with the tips alone, and
a heavier one from the non-frayed section. Simple to clean, quite inexpensive, and different weights of
cord are readily available.

Elkhide- heavier than Deerskin, yet soft and compressible, almost entirely thud. A lovely flogger for a
slow building scene, very easy to relax into, and can be used with astonishing force with little risk of
harm.

The next three are varieties of cowhide, the 'standard' leather. These are not specific cuts or tanning
terms, but are classes of weight and type.

Suede- in the lighter varieties, slightly harder than Elk, in the heaviest, just below the thick Topgrain
below. Many floggers are made from various suede 'splits', these are inexpensive and simple to work.
More thud and more sting than those above, may mark if swung sharply.

Topgrain leather- smooth leathers create less friction than suedes, yet usually feel more 'sting-y' on
the skin. Available in many weights, from light garment leathers to heavy saddle leathers, the more
flexible varieties are recommended.

Oil tanned thick leather- thick, heavy, and spongy leather, less flexible than thinner skins. Feels
rather like an extremely heavy Elk as it compresses, yet a far more 'serious' thud.

Bison- Interesting rough grain, heavy, rather inflexible, unless careful attention is taken the edges
may cut the skin. Not a material for the beginner, but certainly something to use if desired.

Rubber- flexible, yet quite 'harsh' feeling, stings rather like a thong flogger, leaves immediate marks.
Different weight to air resistance ratio than any leather I am aware of. Exceptionally simple to clean.

Horsehair- Extreme sting with no thud, entirely skin-level sensation of a very intense and itching sort.
It is possible to break skin with horsehair, and it creates deceptively intense stinging at a very light
touch. Cleanliness and body fluid precautions are required here, IMO.

Additionally, most of these have tactile and scent qualities that may attract some, with the exception of
the pillowcase, fabric, nylon, and the oil-tanned leather [much of which smells rather nasty]. All except
the pillowcase may be made into floggers that look rather nice, and all of the above are now available
ready-made through shops and catalogues.

Technique-
Much has been discussed, experienced, debated, and counter-debated here and elsewhere on this
personal topic, but as this is intended as a generic suggestion for the beginner, perhaps there is a
possibility we might avoid the usual flamewar-of-the-moment? Of course it would be wonderful if others
would add their own ideas to this basic outline [subtle hint].



WHERE?

Where to flog? Where not?-

As 'flogging' is something that covers much by way of different activities, I have taken the liberty of
separating it into 'light' [entirely sting, no deep tissue effects], and 'heavy' [sting and/or thud, reaching
and jarring deep tissue]. *Hint* it is impossible to do 'heavy' flogging with a 20-tail chamois flogger,
and quite difficult to do 'light' flogging with anything over deerskin in the materials progression cited
above [with the exception of horsehair, again a sting-only material].

Of course all of these are merely physical *possibilities* rated solely on my own opinions of [relative]
safety, all limits and preferences of top and bottom must also be considered.

Where not to flog *under any circumstances* [obvious safety reasons]-
The face, head, neck, the fingers and toes, over healing skin [if you want it to ever heal].

Where to flog *extremely* lightly and carefully if at all [Really a gentle brushing motion
rather than a striking one, tips of a *light* stinging instrument only, such as the chamois or horsehair
above]-
The palms and back of the hands, over any joint, the lower front and back and sides between the top of
the pelvis and the lower ribs [kidneys and other internal organs], the spine, the tops and bottoms of the
feet.

N.B. Both feet and hands contain many tiny bones, once broken, these rarely heal well. Joints do not
respond well to stress internal or external. Crippling is neither safe nor sane, and unless one has an
X-ray machine at call one cannot tell. Internal organs are more fragile than one might think, avoid thud
entirely in their area. Many people have particular problems with body areas as well, do attempt the
above *very* lightly indeed if at all!

Where to flog lightly-
Lower legs, arms, inner arms, breasts, genitals [skin is more fragile there], upper shoulders [accuracy],
top of buttocks near spine, the muscular ridge on both sides of the spine [accuracy], the ribs where not
protected by muscle.

N.B. There is some evidence that 'thud' on the female breast is not advisable for reasons of health,
nipples are far better suited to strong stimulation. The top of the buttocks protect the coccyx, a small
and fragile triangular bone at the base of the spine, avoid striking between the upper buttocks.

Where to flog 'heavily'-
Buttocks, upper back on each side of the spine, thighs, lower shoulders. These areas are principally
composed of strong bones protected by muscle tissue and a fatty layer, any other organs present are
reasonably protected. There are reasons for these traditional areas being so traditional, they reduce
the likelihood of major damage, making an extended safer session possible.

Position considerations-
Body position affects the position of both skin and muscles. If someone is bent over, the muscles of the
rear lengthen and are not as thick, so the muscles themselves no longer protect in the same way. If the
skin is stretched as well, it will feel more than it would if relaxed. Flogging someone who is standing
unsupported may lead to falling, and seems foolish given the known physiological and psychological
effects ['going away']. Standing bondage changes without warning to partial suspension if someone
faints, plan for that possibility.



HOW?-

Technique repertoire-
The more ways one knows to do an action, the more effects may be created, and the less one's arm
aches afterwards. Varying the motions has a good effect for top and bottom. Practise the following until
you can do them from various directions and speeds, they all feel and work differently. Knowing the
techniques is only one part, knowing which to use and when is beyond my ability to suggest in a post.

Swinging styles-
I know of four basic ways to end a stroke of any force:

[1] The tails land 'flat', with all of the force hitting at once [the tails either bounce off or drop almost
vertically after this].

[2] The tails swing 'through', with the some part of the tips hitting and moving past the target area.
From there, you may stop them [see 'Accuracy-' below], or use some elliptical pattern to bring them
round again, such as vertical or horizontal figure-8, circle, and the like.

[2a] The tail tips strike, go past, then immediately return via
a swift spinning motion. If fast enough, this can seem
continuous and the light, sharp touch has some sensational
advantages.

[3] The tails are snapped or 'whipped' for a smaller point of stimulation that is more discrete and feels
'sharper'.

[4] The tails land all at once on the body in a strongly forward motion resembling a punch or push more
than a swing. Difficult to describe, and not as common, a hard thud stroke.

Each of these and all their variations may be primarily accomplished by wrist motion alone, or with arm
and wrist moving together, this depends on your strength and the effect you seek. A properly balanced
flogger requires less effort, and may be used for a longer time with less fatigue.

Skill-
I would like to add my voice to [I believe] Mauser's previous post on this, bad technique is simply
inexcusable; although we are all fallible, misplacing a stroke is not something to be taken lightly. There
is indeed an art to the physical act of flogging. This may be learned as any other physical art, by
observation, thought, and practise.

Practise in the air will teach you the balance of a flogger, but there is no substitute for actual impact. I
believe it was STella who suggested a velvet pillow, and another person suggested suspending it in a
way that allowed for movement. This works nicely, a safe and useful simulation.

If you rarely find velvet pillows strewn about, a towel wrapped round a pillow will serve the same
purpose, you will see the path of the flogger tails quite nicely in the nap of the fabric. When you are
able to land all the tails in one area on the pillow, practise moving that aiming point about until you
know exactly where it will land each time. Now practise varying the speed, pace and strength of the
blows without sacrificing that accuracy. When you have that in balance, try these variations on your
own leg, get the feel of that specific instrument, *then* consider using it on the willing form of another.

Accuracy-
A flogger [as opposed to a crop or whip] 'flops around more', it naturally covers a wider area and is
more difficult to control. If one avoids any spin on the handle, the first stroke may be accurate with the
tails close together. Unfortunately the next ones tend to be less so unless some care is taken with the
tails between strokes. The tails may be caught in the free hand between strokes, allowed to wrap
gently on the top's torso or leg to gather them together, or hang straight down between strokes. Any of
these options will make the next stroke more accurate as the tails will at least start together. It is
possible to stop them in mid-air as well, but more difficult to cause them to swing together. With
practise, a well-made flogger that is 2 inches in diameter with the tails gathered together may be
precisely placed within a 3 to 4 inch target path.

As a suggestion for beginners, start with the bottom reclining face down and the top kneeling or
standing a-straddle, thus allowing gravity to assist in the guidance of the tails.

Swinging at a body part that protrudes ensures accuracy. The buttocks of a standing bottom whose
entire front is pressed against a rigid support are a classic example of this, a straight side-to-side swing
with the tips of a flogger can strike only the intended area, leaving the lower back and upper thighs
untouched. Costuming may help as well, certain corsets may provide some protection for the kidneys,
and may act as a sort of armor against mishap.

Wrapping-
If the middle section of tails strikes first on a rounded 'edge' of the body, and the tips 'wrap' following
the curve, the tips actually accelerate far more than the original swing [physics, try it on something
inanimate and see]. This is 'wraparound', and is usually a bad thing, causing inadvertent hard blows to
areas one did not intend to touch at all, or ruining the controlled stroke one did intend. Keeping the
flogger handle the same distance away from the skin as you did in practise will help here, as will being
very careful to plan where the tips will fall at each stroke, avoiding curved edges to wrap around.

Being 'tip conscious' is the best way to avoid wraparound, but placing a pillow to protect the side of a
reclining bottom works as a temporary solution for those who have this problem [works neatly with
'whippy' canes and crops as well].



IN SCENE-

How often?-
An average of one stroke every few seconds often proves best, with the exception of the spinning
technique above, a fast version of which will seem constant. This 'blow-rest-blow' allows processing
time to feel each sensation, and this rhythm once established may easily be changed for effect. No
doubt some people will differ with me on this, but I maintain that it is a suitable pace to maintain in
many cases. Increased speed near the end is also popular, and pacing oneself early on will allow for
that.

Scene Structure-
Different people seek to give and receive different experiences. I offer two quite diverse scenarios to
begin the discussion, perhaps others might volunteer their own favorite experiences or methods.

The slowly building endorphin encouragement-
Start slowly and lightly, begin by placing the flogger on the skin, holding the tail tips in one hand and
the handle in the other, moving slowly to and fro on the skin. Then a slow caress with the tips for a bit,
using more and more of the tails in a soft motion, building the movement into a partial swing, then a full
swing. Vary placement gradually, work up and down the body in a methodical pattern with few
surprises. When changing to a 'harder' flogger, repeat the above 'accustomization' process in minature,
the ideal being that although the actual force applied increases markedly, the 'feeling' remains much
the same, matching the growing ability of the bottom to enjoy the increasing sensations. In a person
looking for this, it is often possible to cause a 'flying' sensation of complete relaxation, buoyed by trust
and natural reactions of the body to slowly increasing stimulation, with little or no feeling of actual
'pain'.

The overwhelming sensation-
More of a 'hard' style than the above, to take a bottom past the 'comfortable' area into one more likely
to push hir strongly. Useful for 'sensation overload' and for those who seek a more 'painful' feeling.
Beginning as above, vary the speed and intensity of the blows much more, pushing more, being less
predictable. Work upper body and lower at seemingly random times, not allowing the bottom to grow
used to the sensation before moving on. When changing instruments, do so with less subtlety, let hir
feel the change as an increase in intensity. Should sie enjoy both sting and thud, use these
interchangeably as well, surprise is often more effective than merely increasing the power of blows.

Emotional and other considerations [IMO]-
A few suggestions in this admittedly most subjective area. A flogging of even the gentlest sort may
have exceptionally strong effects on both participants; leaving time and energy to 'wind down' at the
end of the session is, in my view, a requirement. Reassurance, a caress, or a simple touch during the
flogging may do wonders also. Do not expect verbal responses if the flogging takes the bottom into new
areas, sie may not be possible to speak readily, and it may be that sie will not be hearing well either. I
find that flogging the front of the body, use of ear plugs and blindfolds, stringent bondage to open up
delicate body areas, and making the bottom look at hirself being flogged all are more 'serious' and
have more emotional impact than a 'simple' flogging. Bruises may appear immediately, not appear at
all, or suddenly appear after as much as a day or two, depending on the body concerned, and most
people have some reaction to such marks, whether positive or not.

Philosophy-
Flogging can be a powerful and loving act, top and bottom not separated by the flogger, but connected
through it. While basic competence and sensitivity will increase the chances of this, caring does help a
bit too.

*All rights to "Grim's Flogging FAQ" are reserved by the author.

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It's a hot summer day. In the park people are sunbathing, lovers are necking, pigeons are melting, and small children are eating dog shit while their parents aren't looking. You watch a gorgeous hunk/fox/badger of either gender saunter across to the Mr. Whippy ice-cream van.

Hmm, suspicious ? Wonder what flavour they'll choose ? The flavour of ice-cream you pick shows your personality and sexual preferences. It's true. Abandon sanity and cucumber sandwiches and welcome to :-

The IJAMA Ice Cream Code Guide
by Marcus Morgan
E-mail address: marcus@ijama.demon.co.uk

VANILLA

• • Ice-Cream : Off-white, like so many things with a long list of ingredients, Vanilla is the standard default flavour we all start from...
  • Translation : Solid, dependable, everyone can eat (ahem) vanilla. The first flavour we taste, and for many, it's still the best. Others have found more interesting (and chemically improbable) flavours.
  • Nickname : If you always eat vanilla ice-cream, your nickname is probably "Mr/Ms. Interesting". Steve Davis loves vanilla ice-cream.
  • Usual Chat-Up: "Hello, Do you come here often ?"

STRAWBERRY

• • Ice-Cream : Pink and indulgent, tasting more like fruit than the fruit itself.
  • Translation : You are as camp as a row of tents. If you're female you blend into teenage heteroculture (regardless of your age) and read "Bunty", if you're male then you blend into the drag homoculture and read "Bunty".
  • Nickname : "Shazz" or "Trace"
  • Usual Chat-Up: "Hello, would you like to see my collection of Peter Andre records [simper] ?"

CHOCOLATE

• • Ice-Cream : Brown, rich and indulgent. All the calories of ice-cream anyway, plus all the sexiness of chocolate.
  • Translation : You are as butch as a cartoon dog that lives with Tom and Jerry (and he IS Butch). You need power, to be in control all the time. Want want want, give give give is your motto. You are direct and to the point when you have decided what (or who) you want. Eeep!
  • Nickname : "Sir", or "Ma'am".
  • Usual Chat-Up : "Hello, want a fuck ?"

MINT CHOC CHIP

• • Ice-Cream : Green with suspicious brown lumps, tastes of toothpaste and then suddenly doesn't. Worrying.
  • Translation : Hang on, it's a bumpy ride. You'll do anything anywhere, and enjoy a roll around on the grass (green) despite the fact that both you and partner(s) end up covered in flat snails (brown, er, ah).
  • Nickname : "Phillips" (You're an unusual screw)
  • Usual Chat Up : "Hello, have you ever hung naked over the kitchen table in cling-film [grin] ?"

NEAPOLITAN

• • Ice-Cream : Three flavours in one, the no-nonsense vanilla in the middle, keeping the extremist factions of chocolate and strawberry apart. In my family the vanilla would always be left in the middle like a lost brick as we'd devour it's more interesting brethren.
  • Translation : Er, hang on, what am I today ? Ah today I'm butch, on with the DMs, and chains, er, or was it Femme, out with the satin and floral bits, or was I just going to wear grey or maybe a hat, perhaps I should toss a coin, and do I fancy a man today or a woman, or both, or either, or neither, oh sod it I'm going back to bed.
  • Nickname : "Voter" or "Stereotype Bisexual Group Committee member"
  • Usual Chat Up: "Hello my name's , oh, goodbye then [sob]"

RASPBERRY RIPPLE

• • Ice-Cream : White, with red lines running across it, seems quite safe and then suddenly gets tasty.
  • Translation : You are a sadomasochist with a strong interest in flagellation. You are quite approachable, and would bend over backwards to be accommodating. When people are asked why they like you they often shrug and say "Beats me!".
  • Nickname : You either don't have one or people refer to you in hushed voices as Mr/Mrs./Ms. [Surname].
  • Usual Chat Up : "Meet me upstair in 5 minutes and 25 seconds, without any of your clothes on, or you'll never know what you've missed."

PEANUT

• • Ice-Cream : Looks like maybe fudge or coffee until you put it in your mouth, and then you get a nice/nasty surprise.
  • Translation : If your favourite flavour is peanut, you are as sane as a hatter. Completely predictable and normal in every way. Trust me, I know. My favourite flavour is Peanut.
  • Nickname : "Old Person's Cake Tin".
  • Usual Chat Up : (Said by someone else) "Her over there, hiding behind the fern, she really fancies you, but is too screwed up to come and tell you. No seriously, don't laugh."

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Remember this is all true . I would have changed the names to protect the innocent, but it's just me, and I'm not. You no longer need to preface at a party, "Well, a friend of mine knows this girl who lived with someone who spoke to a guy who...". Just say, "Well, Marcus, the guy who runs this one website..."

"Marcus's Casualty Story"
or
"Urban Myth? My Arse!"
by Marcus Morgan
E-mail address: marcus@ijama.demon.co.uk

When I first moved away from home, I suddenly found I had much more freedom. No longer would my Mother want to know where I was going, who that was on the phone or what's in the plain brown envelope. You see, I'm "Marcus" and her name was (ok, ok, her name IS, but hey, I can dream!) "Margaret", so if the post said "M.Morgan", well, they might mean her. Oh and some people mis-spelled "MRS" as "MR". Oh, and accidentally got her middle initial wrong too .

So I set about getting my own junk mail. Mucky junk mail. Catalogues and magazines and slithering filth and perversity that leaves you feeling dirtied and abused and wanting to shut yourself in a cupboard in case decent Christian folk should notice you. Oh yes, I loved it, they were brilliant. One of the catalogues came with a free gift - a rubber penis extension sheath. A big black rubber condom, with an inch of padding at the business end. Sculpted veins. Very Arty. But being single, this was not a lot of use. I used to put it on and go "Wow, now I have a big black dick. Monster 4 1/2 inches!", wander around the room a bit, and then take it off again. Too thick to wank through, no real use at all. Back in the box it went. But a couple of months later I decided to make my own dildo. The resources I had were rather limited, so I sellotaped 3 old airfix paint tins together, gold, grey and green, and put the sheath on top of them. It worked very well, thank you. Although it did occasionally make rather strange sloshing noises.

Now, everything would have been fine if I hadn't been standing on my head.

Er, well, you see, I'd gotten into the habit of wanking with it while stood on my shoulders upside-down up against a wall, so that I could, or rather had to, cum in my own mouth. Yes, yes, I know, I'll try to explain: I figured I ought to get used to the taste of mine before I tried anyone else's, and this seemed the best way to force myself to do it. It's one thing to convince yourself at full strum that you'll swallow the stuff, but when you're winding down with a handful of sticky fingers, it's hard (Er, no, no, not THAT, shut it, you know what I mean). So if you're upside down, then it's either in the mouth or in the eye, and the mouth seemed preferable (I'd heard a rumour that if you got sperm in your eye, it tries to fertilise your retina).

There I was, eyes shut, mouth open, upside down, playing pork percussion with one hand, and poke precision with the other. But then it all went horribly wrong. As I was about to spunk my chunk, I felt myself overbalancing, and put down my hand. Letting go of the dildo. Basic schoolboy error, so schoolboys tell me. My arse went "FEED ME!", yawned hungrily, and it was then I realised I'd lost it.

When I got the baby batter out of my eye, I went to the toilet. Nothing. I reached in, and could just touch the tip of it with my finger. I was careful, I didn't want the paint tin to open. Then I'd have gold shit. So I figured, I'd wait. It'll work it's way out. Don't panic.

Three days later I was panicking. It hadn't moved, and because they had to work their way past it, my turds were 4 foot long, and about half an inch wide. And I had a date at the weekend. I certainly didn't want him to bang, as it were, into it!

I gave in and I went to casualty.

I walked into this big waiting room, and everyone's looking at me because I look fine, I haven't got blood anywhere, or bandages, or a saucepan on my head, so they're all staring. I went up to the desk. Mother Theresa of Calcutta's gran was sat behind it, this little 9000 year old Methuselah with a face like a prune, no, a prune after a hot bath.

I said, "I, er, I'd like to see a doctor please."

She looked all sympathetic and smiled pearly plastic teeth, "Aaw, what's wrong with you, young man?"

Here goes nothing I thought, "I, er, I have an, um, object, stuck up my back passage."

Her eyes lit up, and voice jumped a few decibels, "Ooh, is it a dildo?"

"Yess.", I emitted through clenched teeth.

And so I went and sat on the seats designed specially to be uncomfortable to people with objects stuck up their back passages next to the kid with the saucepan on his head. By then people were not only staring, but some were pointing, and tutting or sniggering. In the middle distance I saw a small girl turn a querulous face to her mother, and ask a question to which she get no reply apart from her mother going suddenly pale.

Eventually I was called through, to lie on a trolley in one of those natty little paper numbers with the sexy big vent right up the back. The first doctor came in and asked me a few stupid questions, like "Are you a practising homosexual?" I had to stop myself retorting "No, I do it for real".

Then it's on with the glove, and Whooaah! Some warning would have be nice! He rooted around for a bit, like he's trying to rescue some keys down the back of the sofa, then turned to the nurse saying, "Nah, it's too high up. I'll go and see if he can be booked in for surgery."

Surgery, I thought, Knives, needles and, er, knives! Holy Dismembered Starfish, BattyMan! How am I going to explain stitches up the shitter to my hot date! Oh Gods, please, I'll be good. I won't masturbate ever again. I'll keep away from men, I'll become a monk! Only not surgery pleasepleasepleaseplease !

While I was fretting, a younger doctor came in. A student doctor.

"Hello, what's wrong with this one" he grinned to the nurse.

She smirks "Oh, he's apparently got a home-made dildo wedged up his bottom."

He grimaced, almost like one who knows. "Ooh, nasty. Did Doctor Fenderson try the, ah, the grabby thing?" and he mimed a duck.

She gave him a withering look, and dripped sarcasm: "Forceps, Doctor?"

He nodded, "Oh, give'em here."

Then it's Whooah again. I mean, even a vampire can't cross your threshold without an invite! But when he rooted about again he got it! "Aha," he cried triumphantly, holding his trophy aloft, "here's the bugger! Would you like it back?"

"No that's okay," I said, "keep it as a souvenir"

I walked home feeling 10 foot tall, and did a shit 8 feet long.

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