...what would it be like to wake up in the morning.. with my hands cuffed by a small section of rope to the bed.. collar around my neck..having to wait to be released.

...what would it be like to curl up next to a Master until he falls asleep, then be banished to the floor alone.

...how would it feel to have a Master, in front of a room of friends, ask to see what color panties I have on today.

...how it would feel to close my eyes.. opening them to be surprised by having You there suddenly slipping your fingers around my neck.

...how bad it could hurt if all my worries were indeed came true.

...which path is really the right one for me, and is there a path that can be so perfect for me that I don't feel like i"m choosing between what I am and the family I love.

...will I know if I die?

...is there such a thing as true love? or is it all just a bunch of hooey.

...is the only good sex the sex you have while you're infatuated with someone.

...why is the world so wrong when I'm so right?


...how come it has to hurt so much to let go of people you know you should and want to let go of.

...what are the odds on dreams coming true.

...Is there really any harm in crawling under my pillows and hiding out for a couple days?

... why does the stupid cat eat her food so fast that she pukes it back up?

...why can't someone else take the kids to the park?

...How can I possibly think it's wonderful to be spanked until I cry.. hating and loving it at the same time.

... but mostly I wonder... will I ever be happy? Or am I just such an unhappy person that I"ll never be?